Reddit: Gasoline.
June 19, 2007 - 6:03 AM - # - Influenced by mayhem

Use this account for nothing but helping to ignite the promising beginnings of flamewars/arguments.

u/pass: gasoline/forthefire

 
Something Else
January 16, 2007 - 11:57 AM - # - The Collective Mind of the Boardix Community

My friend Peter was always saying, "Let's go on a road trip!" until he drove his car into a gypsy woman who cursed him by shrinking him. Mini Peter went and put on his giant banana costume which had not fit him since yesterday. As he was sliding into the pool, he realized the costume was a flotation device in case he could not keep his head above water, metaphorically speaking that is, but that wasn't his only problem. He also had the AIDS. So, needless to say things weren't going as planned. Damn condom was bad and didn't fit over his banana cream pie. Anyhow, yesterday he went to a strip club with his paycheck cashed into singles. He had only three singles, however, and they all had Santa Claus's face. Damn little elfs who helped him sell limited edition, one of a kind "How to Date a Sixteen Year Old Target Employee and Not Get Laid, Because That Would Be Illegal." They are selling books on tape because Santa doesn't pay minimum wage, slavery is more cost effective, and elves don't know unionizing even exists. When pressed for comment, Santa insisted this story doesn't make any sense. Giant Peter awoke from his bizzare general anesthesia and realized he wasn't completely proportional, if you know what he means. His left hand was awkwardly small compared to his right. This gave him an unfair advantage when trying to get food from squirrels, who found his little hand delicious. One time he managed to snatch a giant nut from on squirrel with his tiny hand, and grab the squirrel with his normal telekinetic powers, the squirrel was very fat. Oh, and the squirrel also hated awkwardly handed, telekinetic squirrel grabbers with a passion only surmounted by Mel Gibson. The squirrel let out an antisemitic rant of biblical proportions until Disney dropped release rights to "Squirrelypto," an epic of ancient Sciuridae.

 
Artwork from the hive
December 9, 2006 - 7:56 AM - # - Influenced by http://heeereswilly.ytmnd.com/

A fresh art piece sits in the corner of an art gallery. The artist slaved over this piece for months and looked back on their traditional art education and art theory that they studied so hard in school as they were creating every bit and piece. One day, the artist hangs around at the gallery near his piece for the entire day and observes the reactions of passersby. A few people stop and look with arms folded and a hand on their chin. They move on. Is it art? Is it any good?

Anyone who been around on the net long enough has encountered something like ytmnd.com. People pump out fresh evolving artwork at an incredible rate. Most don't blink a conscious neuron as they direct the symphony of elements together. They naturally place things together that feel right. Really really right. Slowing down their thinking to incorporate hand fed knowledge doesn't occur, and with better results. A lack of traditional education application allows the artist to get the conscious mind out of the way and just do.

A fresh entry pops up on ytmnd.com. Blip, another. Blip. Blip. Diving into each entry, one can find the personal comments of hundreds of others who have experienced the pieces. Next. Next piece. Next.

 
US OS
July 9, 2006 - 4:16 PM - # - influenced by the film "waking life"

human society is not unlike an incomplete and buggy computer operating system. flaws are corrected only after the spread of social and physiological viruses that incapacitate hosts unprepared to deal with them. when a computer is born, it generally comes with the base-level version of the operating system but needs a preliminary series of updates and vaccines or it will crash and die in a very short period of time from worms and threats already existing in the environment. like two sprinters the parasitic entities and the hosts advance faster and faster and faster until at a point in the far future they become one perfect solution encased in stone protection but no longer really living or existing freely.

 
derek
March 8, 2006 - 4:34 AM - # - influenced by death

get some contacts
maybe some braces
maybe a toupee sys- sys- sys-
systems of conformity
kills identity
killed my friend
the end

 
Suggestion
November 3, 2005 - 1:16 PM - # -

What up motherfuckers? No one has posted in this blog in forever, so, fuck it, I'm gonna. Here is my suggestion. Find awesome people in one of your classes (preferably one that sucks ass, i.e., news editing). After class, blow off whatever you had planned. Gonna work out? Fuck that. Who likes to sweat? Tag along with the group of cool kids from class to an awesome bar that also serves food (firehaus) and have six drinks in the middle of the day. It's especially cool if your lecture for that day is cancelled. Just cause you have class and work to go to still doesn't mean that you can't get a little fucked up in the middle of the day. This is fucking college, motherfuckers. If not now, when? From now on, every Thursday after 420 (haha) lecture, you can find me at Firehaus.

-D to the P

 
Einundzwangzig und noch am Leben
May 28, 2005 - 9:29 PM - # -

Well, sorry to say, but this has been the most crazy birthday that I have ever had. The most unliikely people decided to give me presents, and needless to say, there was much drinking involved. About 30 people showed up to celebrate with me, and we drank about 5 cases of beer.......and then some......

I unfortunatley had to leave earlier than some of the others. I was soo grateful that Simon and Gasper looked after me as I stumbled around the StuStadt. I unfortunatley didn't fair as well as the others who didnt drink half as much as I did. My roommate gave me something that looked like a neon green mad chemist-style beaker. Turns out it was slovenian schnapps with a plant to turn it a special color. Zambuca, vodka, and bulgarian schnapps were also among the other presents.

Either way, it was awesome. Unfortunately, Luz and Ogi, the two hottest girls on the planet, skipped out early. I think I was a bit tooooo drunk, and they lost their patience. I'll just have to call them up morgen....umm....I mean tomorrow. Crap, I can't even think in English anymore. Everything comes out first in German.

The one thinig that I have to say is that I miss home now more than ever. Today I drank waaay to much for my own good; however, listening to Rise Against somehow rid me of any sick feeling I had in my stomach. BTW, Rise Against (awesome Chicago punk band) just played in Munich last weekend. I just forgot to write an entry about it. Freakin awesome. Just listen to "Siren Song of the Counter Culture" and you will understand what I mean.

Well then folks, g'nite. I have to wake up sometime tomorrow to play ultimate frisbee in the english gardens........If I survive the night that is. So yeah, until then.

P.S. To translate the title try using www.leo.org. Have fun.

 
Run (part 1)
December 22, 2004 - 1:34 AM - # - Influenced by the writings of D.F. Petrella and friends

I hate driving in the dark. I can't believe it gets dark this early.
I'm shivering in my coat with that icy wind blowing into my broken window. Maybe if I drive faster an icy sheild will form over it.
Man I want some ice cream.
Damn, it's been over a year since that happened. Why'd they have to break the window!?
Why haven't you taken care of it yet?
I'll get around to it.
You mean wait until someone holds a gun to your head?
I've already stopped listening.

I'm driving. I'm driving? How long have I been driving?
Think.. what's the last thing you remember?
Water. Falling water. No, I'm pouring water. I'm pouring water. No.. smells like... gasoline. Pouring gasoline.
Thats right.
I was mowing the lawn? Who's lawn was I mowing? No wait- there is snow on the ground. Thats gotta be an older memory.
Try again.
Okay.. well I was pouring gasoline recently then. And now I'm driving. Really fast. And its dark.
But you made it bright before, didn't you.
I've stopped listening.

 
School Kills
October 19, 2004 - 2:37 PM - # - Influenced by the writings of D.F. Petrella

"I love all you guys. I love you like brothers. The brothers I never had. And I'm very sorry, but I'm still going to burn your house down."

I opened up the first jug of gasoline and started emptying it onto the furniture. The second one was poured in a circle around the chairs huddled together in the center of the room. Being careful not to slip, I grabbed the third jug and took it to the center where I started soaking the guys' ropes. Most of them had stopped trying to talk to me through the socks. I poured a little extra onto the empty chair with a set of teeth sitting on it. Tom had passed out, and Steve was still trying to wriggle out of the Boy Scout knots. He of all people should know that they hold.

I started on the top floor, and let time slow down. The clear liquid splashed off of the bar. The carpet started making a squishing sound as I walked. Through my congestion, I was finally starting to smell it.

God this place was huge. It's a good thing I came overprepared.
"The first principle of the Syndicate is to be overprepared," I thought to myself and chuckled a little bit, thinking back on old times.
I plugged the sinks in both kitchens and committed a jug to each one. I grabbed some Oreo cookies and stuck them in my pocket. Then I did a final sweep of the top two floors. I threw the last four unopened jugs in the washer and dryer in the basement. I always wanted to blow up a washer and dryer. And it would probably make a nice BOOM that I could hear outside.

I ran my tongue across my new teeth. It reminded me of when I got my braces off. I pulled a cookie out of my pocket and took a bite.
"Well, they pass the first test," I said to myself, with my mouth full. I finished chewing and shouted into the house "I sure hope the trans-fat in these Oreos doesn't kill me!"

 
Sunday is the night.
October 11, 2004 - 3:00 AM - # - Influenced by alcohol

I didn't post yestereay, and a certain someone that is 45 mingutes away got upset. But not really. Anyway, I'm wasted, and i'[m gonna post.

So tonight. What can I say. Last night was a good night to post. Too bad all of us were eihter, 1) passed out on a couch 2) with a girl or 3) supremely depressed.

So yeah last night...

I was passed out on a couch in my own house. I started my night by drinking a whole bottle of Boones Farm Strawberry wine. Kinda pink, kinda gay, but very cheap, and got me quite drunk. Then we went to a party that was actually kind of a fundrasier for INM at U of I (dancers are hot.) I blacked out. SOmehow I ended up talking to a couple girls, both of which were in A O Pi, and one of which was an INM dancer. I started talking to the dancer some more, finding out she was kindof a Jf clone. I made them talk to each other. Anyway, I was blacked out for a lot, but I do remember getting her number. However, due to the blacked-out-ness, i needed it to be repeated, and i even got her name wrong. Embarrasment city. But, Cf and Jf know her, so i've got some connections.

As soon as I got her number, I was completely blackd out. I think she left, and I stayed with the party and H. From what I hear from Jf, we were just standing around being like "Yay girlses." And then we went home. H haad to pee off a balcony. Then homeward boud.

But Jf called us, wanting to come with us to BFH. H and I were probalby pretty close to BFH already, but we agreed to go get her.

We got there and talked for a bit. I was kinda blacked out, and there was apparently some Jimmy Johns and Aladdin involved. Anyway, I eventually decided to go home, leaving H on the couch there.

I came home, still wasted, and found a C and a R.B. dancing to D's music with JfD's friends. Somehow I passed out on the couch.

Today, we decided to just drink heavily. We got drunk and the Elmhurst girls started asking if we wanted to play JfD's game "sexmaster". We did, but peole kept dissappearing. I talked to J, but he said that he probaly didn't need a game to help him tonignt. I was drunk, so I failed to realize that R.H. was in J's room and made some lewd comments. They did not hear, but I felt kinda bad 2 minutes later when R.H. walked out.

Then I went to bed, started writing this, had a phone convo about last night, and then finished this. Now it's bedtime.

 
Down on the farm!!!
October 9, 2004 - 8:04 PM - # -

Go to the store and get yourself a bottle of Boone's Farm for $2. It's the cheapest wine I have ever seen. It's as sweet as pop and drinking a bottle of it will get you an awesome buzz. DO IT!