April 9, 2005

Limited Time Only

Why must food companies tease us with products marked "limited time only"? The list is substantial, although the two things that spring to my mind are Live Wire Mountain Dew and Jalapeno Pringles. Both products have labels on the container that proclaim they will not be available after the limited amount of time passes. It's an obvious advertising ploy to get people to buy their product because if they don't they'll "never be able to try it again." Everyone knows that if the product does really well, it will continue to be marketed. Why would a company get rid of a product that is making them tons of money? They wouldn't, so they don't, they just extend the amount of time covered in the term "limited." Just the phrase, "limited time only" is a work of pure marketing genious. Literally, it means that for a certain period of time, which will end eventually, we will be allowed by the company to purchase their product. All amounts of time are limited. The only non-limited amount of time is infinity, but that doesn't have good advertising power:

"How long can we buy those chips?"
"Forever"
"How long have they been available?"
"Forever"
"Screw it, they're probably stale. We'll wait 'til they restock"

Limited, on the other hand, sounds urgent.

"How long can we buy those chips?"
"I don't know but the time is limited"
"Limited!? We'd better get three"

However, just because a period time is limited, doesn't mean that it's short. Hell, There's a limit on a millenium, but who gets worried that they only have 1000 years to buy something. Personally, I'm surprised that doctors don't get in on this term.

"Give it to me straight doc, How long do I have?"
"You've limited time only"
"Damn, I'd better go to Disney World before I run out of time"

They'd never be wrong.

I also have an idea to utilize this phrase to boost morale in prisons. Make the inmates awaiting execution where shirts that say "limited time only" on the front. On the back their could be an electric chair or a syringe. And it doesn't have to stop at clothing. We could extend it to the plates, chairs, and walls while we're at it. I think the market in Texas alone could be worth millions.

Of course, you'd have to act fast with all of the states getting rid of capital punishment. You've a limited time only.

Posted by chupathingy on April, 9, 2005 at 3:17 AM | Comments (1)

i like your writing style. kinda reminds me of dave barry. keep it up


Comment by: holler at 1:01 PM, April, 9, 2005