November 10, 2005
The Last Second
Why do we procrastinate? I mean, as self-appointed royalty of putting things off, I know all the reasons we give, "I don't feel like it", "I've got plenty of time", "there's better things to do"....But I mean why do we really put things off? I can't speak for everyone, but I think that part of it for me is the thrill of that back-against-the-wall, clock's ticking feeling. Almost an Evel Knievel-esque, how-far-can-I-push-it type of thing and not to brag, but I think I've pushed the envelope about as far as anyone and still pulled through.
It's funny though, because I keep thinking that it's gonna catch up with me eventually, and it probably will, and I constantly tell myself that I'm "gonna get this started early so I'm not rushed" but it never happens. I keep waving the red flag in front of the bull, wondering if this is the time I'm going to get impaled. I almost wonder if this is the way drug addicts feel, knowing that they're gonna crash and burn, but it hasn't happened yet so they keep on going. I think I've kind of resigned myself to that. I'm either gonna get through with flying colors, or I'm gonna go down in a ball of flames.
Although, isn't that the goal, not to go quietly into the night?