"I don't want to acheive immortality through my work, I want to acheive it through not dying." -woody allen

Well it's been a while, and in a sense this should probably go in "influenced", but since its been so long here, i'm sticking with this guy.

Alcohol is a wonderful drug. without it, i'm seen as marginally entertaining. or by myself as 'boring as hell'. with it, i can carry on a conversation with someone i hardly know for over an hour. i can even lead it. i can almost say that alcohol wakes up the part of me that i want to be.

it takes my mind off my work, my school work. it gets me thinking about other things, which, during my time as a drunk person, i consider more important.

i love my friends. all of them. If I have children, I would not hesitate to teach my children to call you all their aunts and uncles. If I ever host a holiday, Id invite you all, even though I know you'd probably have blood family stuff to do. If I ever win the lottery, you will all have an all-expense paid trip to my house for a week-long party. in fact, the party will happen as soon as i can afford it.

The family structure of america is deteriorating. in a sense, this can get bad when parents can't discipline their kids. but what about relating friends and family? Is it such a bad thing? is it so wrong to want to invite your kids to hang out with the people you love for who they are, not how they are related to you? To keep your kids around the people you really love, instead of the people you have to love but complain about insistantly?

I don't really know what I want to do with my life. But i do know this: I want to touch people. I want to make my dent. I want to life my life to the fullest, and still have something to show for it after I die. And I want the same for those i love.

that's all i have now. maybe i'll expand in a soberer state, if you comment (which i doubt since ther's been no reason to read this in 3 months.