This is it.
For the longest time I had been having a hard time accepting the fact that I’d be graduating.
It’s finally over.
Then graduation came and went, and yeah, it was weird. I had this surreal experience crossing over the stage to get my empty diploma cover where I couldn’t hear anything despite the numerous people yelling my name. I must have looked like a deer in headlights when the photographer snapped my picture. I have no idea. I kinda blacked out.
I’m leaving.
Yet, I never felt like it really hit me. Until today.
Today was the day I finally packed up my things into my car and left. Put all my stuff in boxes, threw out the piles of trash that had built up over the years. Come to think of it, I may have thrown out almost as much as I packed. The Grunk would have been in heaven.
As I sit in my car, ready to leave and wishing the windows worked, I realize that I have nothing left in the house that I had lived in for the past three years. That’s when it hit me. I’m actually leaving. I realize that I may never again pull out of this driveway in this car and head back to Villa Park again.
VAAAVAAAVAAAA-VAAAAAROOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
As I turn the ignition I am greeted with the deafening sound of a small airplane. Having no exhaust will do that do a car. I know it’s going to be a long couple hours.
As I drive, I feet an increasingly strong longing to go back. Turn around. Not leave. It’s as if I had left something there. I decide to put on my mp3 player for music, even though wearing headphones while driving is technically illegal. Whatever, I need some music, and the car radio isn’t doing it for me.
“Choking on the thought of leaving / Drinking to keep from sobbing…”
Wow. How oddly appropriate, random play list generator. Except the drinking part. No roadie sodies for this guy.
“From sour home Chicago / Hear it beating far away…”
Whoa. That was it. As cheesy and cliché as it sounds, I think I knew what I left behind me.
Some say, “Home is where the heart is.” Others say, “A home is just a place to store your shit.” I’d never really considered the BFH my home. When I was going back to my parent’s place, then I would say I was going home. Despite the fact that over the past three years I’ve lived in the BFH more than I’ve lived with my parents, I’d never really thought about it being home. But this longing makes me think twice. I’d never noticed it before, but every time I’d left in the past, I knew I’d be back soon. I also realize that just about every material possession that I own is surrounding me, traveling with me. Over the years, everything I own had in some way or another made it back to school with me. There is nothing of mine waiting for me where I was going. How could I call my parent’s house my home if my heart was still in Champaign and everything I own is packed into the back of a 1988 Toyota Camry?
BA-CRUNK!
Um…did something just fall off my car?
BA-CRUNK!
Nope, it’s still there. It just doesn’t like bumps.
Ah, the memories that were also in that car. You could take one look at it and never believe that it got us to and from Florida on spring break. But it made it. It had given so many people rides, driven people countless times between Champaign and Chicago, gotten me so many speeding tickets. But recently it had been having problems. First, the axel became bent in such a way that it started making popping noises as I drove. It almost sounded like one of those children’s toys that rolls along the ground and pops colored balls around. Except way less fun. Then, a hole formed in the top of the gas tank, meaning I could no longer fill the tank to the top. Soon the muffler blew into pieces and fell off in a parking lot, which was followed shortly thereafter by the rest of the exhaust system up to the catalytic converter while I was driving on the highway. Lastly, just days before graduation, the catalytic converter started dragging on the ground. I figured a coat hanger would be able to hold it up for at least a little while, and hoped I’d at least make it home so my dad could take a look at it.
What am I doing in the middle of the highway?
While I’m basking in memory, my car suddenly starts veering back and forth. A lot. I slow down but it doesn’t help much. I watch the headlights dance back and forth across my lane and realize what it must be like to drive drunk. There is no rhythm to the veering, so I just have to suck it up and grab the wheel ready to react as fast as possible. It keeps me awake if nothing else. Attempting to pass trucks becomes pretty horrifying though.
Chicago – 128 miles
Road signs. I wish I had a road sign for my life. Something to tell me how far I am from having a job, or a wife. Some of my friends do have this. They can see their futures in front of them. I’m just driving along a dark road without the headlights on. And with all this veering, I’m not even sure I’m on the road anymore.
Weeeeeee-ooooooo…Honk Honk
Apparently you can drive like a drunk for about 100 miles before you get stopped.
Just after going through Peotone, and by the way, I LOVE Peotone, I get pulled over by a State Trooper.
“What’s the problem here, sir?”
“Sorry, I think my axel is bent…this has never happened before”
“You are all over the road sir, you can’t continue driving this car.”
“I’m just on my way home, I’m being very careful, everything I have is in the car.”
“I don’t care. You can’t be driving this car. Give me your license and insurance card and I’ll follow you slowly to the weigh station a mile down.”
She follows me to the weigh station and tells me that I need to have someone pick me up. I call my mom and she agrees to come get me. The cop holds onto my license for the next 45 minutes while she chats it up with the people at the weigh station and I watch some Curb on my laptop. Finally she comes over to give me the license back. I try to see what I can do about my car.
“Hey, I think all the shaking was due to all the added weight, if I just move this to another car could I at least drive it home?”
“No sir. That car is not drivable.”
“But I think it’ll be fine if I could just move all the stuff out of it.”
“I don’t care. If you drive that car on my highway you will be arrested.”
“Well, can I leave it here until tomorrow at least?”
“Only if you have it out of here by the first thing in the morning.”
“So if I can’t drive it, and I can’t leave it here, what am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know, I don’t care, but if you drive that thing you will be arrested.”
And then she drives off.
After a few minutes my mom gets here and we move everything into the van. She tells me to drive it anyway, we’d only be on “her highway” for another ten or so miles. However, the catalytic converter starts dragging and throwing up sparks as soon as I leave. Now, since sparks and a leaky gas tank don’t really mix, I decide I should probably take care of this. I get out and see that the hanger broke. So I get another hanger, jack up the car, put it back up, and start driving again. That gets me just past the toll on 294 before it breaks again. My mom says we should just leave it.
So now my car is stuck in Markham on 159th Street. We’re junking it. Maybe it’s for the best. A load off my shoulders. A reason to get out of my past and start thinking about the future.
Get a job, buy a new car.
(names changed cause, uh, this shows up in google now...who woulda thunk? hopefully they'll update their cache of it quickly...)
My name is Mike O'M_lley, and you all know how much I rock,
I know all of you want to suck my cock.
But I’m too good for you, I’m the greatest person ever born,
And if disagree I’ll rape you with an ear of corn
So you’re probably all sad that we’re leaving, we may not see each other again
But I for one am very happy to be leaving all you douchebag “friends”
You’re all a bunch of ass-holes, I’ve got a lot to say,
So everyone sit down and listen to why I think that you’re all gay.
I’ll start with an alumnus, adam r*****, that stupid jerk
Uncle Poowater we call him, and it’s a name that works
He’s a grumpy old ass-hole and loves to throw a fit
I hope he finds another room where he wakes up covered in shit.
Dave S****** does the money, and rapes us all with bills,
Then he gets all stabby, and if I say more I might get killed,
I kinda miss the spoon rape, but now he has elise,
And now I want everyone to picture her sucking on his piece.
On to jared r*********, the craziest drunk in the world,
It doesn’t happen often but when it does oh my lord,
Some of the funniest stories come from some of those times I think,
But as we all know, none of them really ever happened. Wink.
Corey E******* is so fucking gay. Just thought I’d throw that out there. I’ll move on to…
Jon S******, be careful with your bike shorts, they’re so tight,
They may not crush your balls too much, but corey sure as hell might,
But if he does don’t worry, give a good old hearty guffaw,
Even if corey has his swords, you can beat him with your jaw.
If you ever need to find andy l******, just look right at that couch alright,
That lazy fucking baststard lays there day and night.
We pile shit on top of him pizza boxes, food, and the like,
But he just brushes it off to do nothing but watch tv or play counter strike.
Here is Dan P*******, the drunken incredible hulk,
Destroying anything that gets in the way of his massive bulk.
Am I calling him fat? Fuck yeah I’m calling him fat.
I’m calling him a fucking cock sucking mother fucking ass of fat.
Good ol’ Mark P*******, that crazy polock ass wipe.
Already farther than any of us with a job and a polish wife.
its college man, slow down, this is the time to get all wacky.
But now that we are done you can go home and have plenty of time for fucking jacky.
Jodi H**********, what a fucking whore!
Getting inside those pants sure doesn’t seem to be a chore.
I know she wants my cock but I just play it cool,
I’m just too good for her because I am not a tool.
Next we have that fucking bitch Rachel ***ee.
Just another girl I know that totally wants to fuck me.
I know I’m fucking awesome, but I’m afraid she’d bite off my dick,
So in light of that I wouldn’t touch that cunt even with a 10 foot stick.
Dan K***** never says a single thing that’s comprehensible,
Some think he thinks on a deeper level that makes it seem unapprehensible
But I think he just strings random words and thoughts that he hears on radio stations
Like a retard mimicking his surroundings in failed attempts at conversation
Jennie D***** is a lesbian, so unlike Rachel and Jodi she doesn’t want to ride my stick,
But she is dating Jon, so I guess that means he has no dick.
But really she loves Jodi, so here’s a secret, shoosh!
If you want to get with Jodi you just have to be a douche.
R*** Holler you dumb-ass you failed right out of school
I need to make you a dunce cap that reads “I’m a fucking fool”
Now you’re not around and some one has a plan,
To prove the age old axiom, once you go holler…you go dan.
Rob Grieg***** is a fucking ass-hole, I hope he dies,
I really fucking hate that guy,
Do us a favor, I'll give you the knife,
And you can use it to, i dunno, make some short cut-off jean shorts, go gay, and start a new life?
I think I know why carrie p****** is rarely around and shit,
It’s because she wants my cock so bad and is pained that she can’t have it,
I just have one thing to say to her and I hope it makes her cry
Fuck you bitch, I hope you fucking die!
And now we have almost come to the end
But first I need to talk about R***** brend.
He’s an old man from the 50’s, in him traditional values are not lost,
But he’ll throw those to the wind if he can hook up with danielle’s boss.
So that’s my little speech, I hope you all learned something,
Now I’m leaving forever. Thanks for fucking nothing.
"I don't want to acheive immortality through my work, I want to acheive it through not dying." -woody allen
Well it's been a while, and in a sense this should probably go in "influenced", but since its been so long here, i'm sticking with this guy.
Alcohol is a wonderful drug. without it, i'm seen as marginally entertaining. or by myself as 'boring as hell'. with it, i can carry on a conversation with someone i hardly know for over an hour. i can even lead it. i can almost say that alcohol wakes up the part of me that i want to be.
it takes my mind off my work, my school work. it gets me thinking about other things, which, during my time as a drunk person, i consider more important.
i love my friends. all of them. If I have children, I would not hesitate to teach my children to call you all their aunts and uncles. If I ever host a holiday, Id invite you all, even though I know you'd probably have blood family stuff to do. If I ever win the lottery, you will all have an all-expense paid trip to my house for a week-long party. in fact, the party will happen as soon as i can afford it.
The family structure of america is deteriorating. in a sense, this can get bad when parents can't discipline their kids. but what about relating friends and family? Is it such a bad thing? is it so wrong to want to invite your kids to hang out with the people you love for who they are, not how they are related to you? To keep your kids around the people you really love, instead of the people you have to love but complain about insistantly?
I don't really know what I want to do with my life. But i do know this: I want to touch people. I want to make my dent. I want to life my life to the fullest, and still have something to show for it after I die. And I want the same for those i love.
that's all i have now. maybe i'll expand in a soberer state, if you comment (which i doubt since ther's been no reason to read this in 3 months.
So now I'm home. It's nice to not have to do so much work, and I've yet to find a time tat it's been overly difficult to occupy myself. I actually feel busy. So it's not as bad as I thought it might be. We'll see how the future turns out.
Anyway, here is my account of an interesting event of today.
The Bank of St. Nicholas
Today my brother and I decided we should probably go get some stuff for our relatives, being Christmas and all. But we wouldn't be getting money from them until Christmas, so we needed another way to fund our little gift-getting expedition, so we gathered a couple jars of change we had that were given to us as an "I don't want to deal with this, you take it" gift. We were gonna just take it to the mall and dump it on the counter of Carson Parie Scott yelling "What can I get for this much?", but decided that attempting to count out 1748 pennies might make the line of people behind us angry enough to form a collaborative effort to murder us. So we hit up the bank.
We got to the bank and went up to a teller. Lo and behold, standing right next to us was none other than good ol' St. Nick! We were starstruck. I wanted so badly to ask him to tell me the true meaing of Christmas, but I just couldn't speak. He gave a good "Ho Ho Ho!" as he saw us walking to the counter lugging 2 giant jars of change. He had the fat and the beard, the bald head, everything but the suit. But we realized that Santa probaly only wears that red suit in cartoons cause it is more cartoony. The real Santa wears western business attire, but that would frighten children. Business men are scary.
Standing next to him, it was easy to determine why he was there. He had just attempted to withdraw $5000. Obviously, the elves were under quota and he needed to do some last minute shopping.
However, the bank had run out of $100 bills due to the Holiday Season, and had to pay Santa in 20's. This was apparently an outrage. Santa began to verbally attack the mild mannered teller and threatened a lawsuit. He seemed to have some sort of legal reason to sue them, but I couldn't hear it.
My inner child was crying too loudly at what a dick Santa is.
There we are at Brother's, building up some tolerance for the next day's festivities. 'Twas a good time, makin fun of a guy in a turbin on the dance floor, beer, doing the dance to "The Bad Touch", beer, Corey dancing, beer, putting stickers on people we don't know, and did I mention beer? Plus Qdoba, pizza, and beer.
Oh Brother(s).
Not much for today. Just a pretty cool sunset that is now my phone's background. I was just leaving a tutorial and saw the sun haning over Grainger Library. the picture hardly does it justice, you had to be there. I can already sense your jealousy...oh yeah, it's there.
Peace.
Being in Champaign days before class starts, there really is nothing better to do at night than to get trashed. So that's what we did. And then Carrie thought it would be a good idea to make pancakes. It was going alright until a couple drops fell off the spoon in the shape of a couple balls. Too good a situation to pass up, she added one more drop, more elongated than the other two, and BAM! the PANCOCK was born. Then I somehow ended up on the floor, and started catching bits of pancake that were dropped. One of those pieces happened to be none other than the original pancock. This picture was taken while Dan ran downstairs to wake up Dave by saying "Dave, Mike has BALLS IN HIS MOUTH!!!"
Long live the Pancock.
why not go out? School hasn't started yet, and I had had hardly anything to drink in a while. i saw no other option. Plus I got to meet Dan's London buddy Santiago. Seemed like an upstanding young man. Oh, and I don't think Dave had had too much to drink either, being that he puked in his cup before the night was over...I feel sorry for whoever came to grab his glass...
It'll be better next time...
The summer coming to a close, what better way to end it than a nice little trip to the dunes? It was a pretty good time, swimming, digging awesome holes, playing in clay. Not the water balloon sling shot, though, that sucked, just ask the welt on my back. Nothing some cool clay couldn't fix though.
Beachin.
So today was my first day on the job. I got to find out all kinds of cool stuff, like what I am actually going to do there.
And by cool, I mean boring. I'll save you the 1000 pages of details and tell you this shortened version: Some days I will be keeping records of jobs that were done that day, and other days I will be taking complaints from customers and questions from satellite installation technicians.
Today was a training day, broken into 6 hours of class, 2 hours of observation, and 1 hour of break. Classroom consisted of me and the other 3 trainees and a trainer. The trainees consisted of a soon to be nursing student, a girl that has 3 jobs total and is working on her Master's, and a mother of a 1 year old. The trainer was a pregnant woman.
Now, the combination of 4 girls, one of which is pregnant, another that has been recently pregnant, and another interested in nursing is a bit volitile when you are the sole man in the room. Especially when they start talking about strange pink periods that one of them pointed out to be the color of my face right now while listening to them talk about it.
I'd also like to point out that I am one of about 3 or 4 guys that work in nonsupervisory positions. Or is it "one of about 3 or 4 guys that works in a nonsupervisory position"? Or is it "I am in a large minority"? Or is it "I am in a small minority"? Or am I attempting to thoroughly confuse you?
Then I went out into the office for some observation. Seems like a pretty boring job, mostly reading questions off a sheet. But hey, $9/hr is $9/hr. I got to meet a bunch of the other employees, including 2 of the guys, one of which is nicknamed "Pimp-master" Phil. Not sure why yet...
The person I was observing was also pregnant (and hardly older than me) and I got to hear about stretch marks and creams to prevent them.
Anyway, soon the day came to a close, and I punched out to get in my car and go go home. But as I was leaving, a car drove by. Wait! There's more! Usually I am pretty good about looking away when mooned and keeping my views of the male buttcrack at a minimum. But I sure wasn't expecting this guy. So I got a pretty good view. Yep.
So I guess what I'm saying is today was a pretty crazy day. I learned all there is to know about getting info from techs, pregnancey, and the appearance of male buttcheeks pressed up against glass.
Goodnight moon.
Home for the summer is where I am. Home. The home I grew up in. This home in which I grew up. And I grew up in this house.
Usually it's not weird to come home. It's been the same home for so long, and littl changes.
But then there are those times when you come home to a new computer for your parents, central air conditioning, and a car for me.
That's a lotta change.
Problem is the car doesn't work. Gotta take it in for a new alternator tommorrow. whoopee.
Such is life.
Wow, its been a while...I need to start doing this weekly.
Distractions
So last Thursday, I was talking to a friend online while putting off my homework. We both had a bunch of crap to do, but we really didn't want to do it. Ever. Well, maybe not never, but we really didn't want to do it then. It called for a homework strike. So we got a couple others in and went over to her apartment to eat pizza and watch Half Baked.
The next morning I had one mission. Go to Grainger library and do the homework that I put off, no distractions. Then I just needed to turn it in by 3 p.m. and I would be golden. I got the homework part done, and was on my way to turn it in...but then Spring happened...
This year Spring snuck up on me like a big guy in a dark ally wielding a nine iron looking to crack some skulls. And play golf. In the dark ally. I seriously had been so busy the past few weeks that I didn't even notice it until I smelled it.
If you live in Champaign, you may know the smell I am talking about. Not a pleasant one, a really nasty odor that I really cannot describe. I wish I knew the name of the tree it comes from. Ugh. Disgusting.
Anyway, I'm walking with my eyes at the ground and notice this smell, causing me too look up. Wow. It may smell bad, but the visuals are great. The beautiful flowers. The beautiful skies. The beautiful women (was startin to sound a little gay there...had to stop that).
Well, I could afford a short trip to the quad. I had 45 minutes before the assignment was due, no use wasting it. And the Quad was almost on the way, and the scenary on nice days is always gorgeous.
I walked a loop around the Quad and was on my way to Illini Hall to turn in the assignment, but then I noticed that my Bank One ATM was on the way. I needed money, and it was pretty much on the way, so I figred I should get some cash and practice the ancient Asian art of CHA-CHING.
After getting my money, I realized that I was hungry and standing right outside of Silver Mine. Might have been the smell that got me there too. One sandwch couldn't hurt, and I had the money to pay for it.
Into Silver Mine, place an order, get the sandwich, and then back to the quad to eat it. Yummy. Then I watched some people attempt to walk on a rope between two trees while others talked to a guy dressed as a bunch of grapes, and then found a bus to take me home.
But wait, I'm missing something...
That's right, boys and girls, I forgot to turn in the homework. And by the time I realized this, it was 3. Ouch. No late policy either. I decided to turn it in anyway, just to see if he'd be lenient, but I'm not so sure it's gonna happen. The professor is a Communist.
Distractions, distractions, the only reason I was even on campus was to turn in the assignment. But I didn't. But I don't really care, because my distractions were the three greatest things known to man: Food, Money, and Women.
C(.)(.)L.
Yeah, I have 4 tests coming at me over the next three days, but I gotta take a break from studyin.
Today was "Ice Cream" day, so when I showed up to work, I was one of the only people there. After a few of the supervisors showed up, a guy walks in, and is sent over to me. I don't know why he was sent to me, I was on the phone. The guy stands across the room and starts yelling "Hey" at me until he gets my attention. I gave him the finger (no, not that one, the one that means "gimme a minute") and he walks away. So I'm a little peeved at the guy, because I was obviously on the phone, which means he must think he is the most important thing to ever live.
None of this really matters though. The real point I wanna make is coming up.
After I got off the phone, he was sent back to me. Instead of telling me his computer problem, he decides to lecture me on how the department I work for is wasting his tuition dollars. He told me to look around at all the people just standing around giggling while he had a problem. He said he would cut our staff down to 3 people if it were up to him.
I wish I could have said this to him:
What are you talking about? Do you think you are the only person that ever comes in here? I'm sorry that you came at a non-busy time, so God fobid some employess talk to each other for lack of things to do. Come back in an hour and try to get help, and you'll see that the 12 employees here are quite busy, answering phones, emails, and helping other walk in clients. The people "giggling" are all full time supervisors, they are here mostly to help the student employees, and right now I am the only student employee here. If you were in charge, you would be running the worst computer consulting service IN THE WORLD. Most people complain that they are put on hold forever when trying to contact us. And even if it wasn't as busy as that, it is helping a few students pay their tuition bills. Let's do some figuring -- say there are 20 student employees working 12 hours per week at $6.50/hr. If these wages were paid completely by your tuition, it comes to less than $2 per student at the University. But it's not all your tuition. include state funding, and add in the fact that the majority of the students there are part of the Federal Work Study program, tuition is hardly even a part of it. SO QUIT COMPLAINING! It hardly affects you, and is an enourmous help to those with less money.
Why would I even help the guy after his ignorant rant? I don't know. But I did. And I regretted it.
The guy fricken didnt even ask me a question. He said, "Anyway, I'm here because I have 6 password to deal with." That's nice. What do you want to do? "You tell me what I want to do." Oh, I love that one.
I took him to a website where he could change all the passwords associated with our department. He had no idea what any of them were for, so he asked me, and then got angry with me because, man I'm dumb, I actually assumed he was an intelligent person. Apparently he expected me to talk to him like a baby. What do you mean, what is express email? It's your fricken school email account! There is no way that you weren't given all kinds of information about that. You call me stupid for never having used the computer labs in the Union? Jeez, guy, you have some weird definitions of that word.
It ended up that the password he really wanted was one that I have no control over. He seemed angry about that too. Lay off buddy, its not my fault that one of your organizations decided to set up their own system without going through us. That's not my deal.
Worst.Client.ever.
Check next week for my review of Matrix revolutions, by the way.
So this weeks been crazy from the bars on wednesday night to the concerts on thursdasy seeing some bands that you really enjoy and being a bit dissappointed by a band that you were really looking forward to seeing because they have such great songs and realizing that they decided to get completely wasted before going on to do their set which could have been so cool if they were sober but instead was played way too hard like they are suppose to play when they take they stage as another band called common denominator who can be really cool and funny but not so much musical which is fine because reggie and the full effect is a joke band anyway and no matter what it will always be more about the humor and never about the music even though they have some really great songs includeing one of the best keyboard songs ever written, which they did play but the keyboard part was not nearly loud enough, though in some cases places that aren't loud are cool, like bars when you go and get to have actual conversations though the content mostly involves drinking it was still a good time and anyway trio still rocks though i wish they would have played more songs that i wished they would have played because they are awesome but they rocked anyway even though i wish they started their set by busting out of the coffins they had set up on stage. Oh well. Good times. See you in the future.
Today was great. I cannot even express in words how awesome today was, but I'll give you the low down so you can get a general feeling for how spectacular it really was.
I woke up this morning to the sound of my cell phone ringing. I picked up the phone to hear the words, "Hey, where are you?" This conjures the question, "What time is it?" I look at the clock and see that it is 12:30 in the afternoon. Awesome. Not only did I miss 3 classes and almost the first half hour of work, I failed to turn in my homework to a class that doesn't accept late assignments.
See, the night previous, I had stayed up quite late working on homework for this class. Not that I put it off till the night before, it was just so educational that it takes 6 to 12 hours to do. I love educational homework, and I love being up late doing it. It's quite relaxing.
Now, I didn't quite finish this homework. My plan was to go to the first physics lecture at 8:30, skip my 10 o'clock class and finish what needed to be done (I had the answers in my head, just not on paper). It sounded like a sucky plan at the time, so I'm glad it was ruined.
Anyway, back to me on the phone.
"Uh...uh...uh...crap....uh..."
"I can't hear you it's kinda loud out here. Where are you?"
"Killing myself."
"I'm gonna have to call you back. I can't hear anything."
I go over to the clock to check what happened. The time is right, the alarm is set to 7 and turned on. Oh, haha, my clock loves me so much that if I don't turn it off it realizes that I want to sleep and that I set it by accident. I love my clock. It lets me sleep in when it knows I need it.
I throw on my clothes as fast as I can since I need to be at work in half an hour and the only bus that can get me there in time leaves in 5 minutes. I love being rushed in the morning. It really wakes me up.
So I go out, catch the bus. I kinda wished i missed it, I didnt really want to be on time for work anyway. I do as much of the already late homework as I can while riding the bus. I love doing homework on the bus, because it makes my work sloppy.
I get off the bus and attempt to run to the TA office. Surprise surprise, I have no clue where it is (it just so happens it’s in a really confusing building and is a maze to get to. So its good I didn’t go, otherwise I would have been really late for work).
So I go to work at the Help Desk and WHOOOO HOOOO! I get the highest number of annoying phone calls I've ever gotten in one day! Such as:
Caller: I hardly speak any of the, uh, English. I have problem with this box in front of me. I need virus scan on.
Me: Okay, go to your desktop-
Caller: What desktop?
or:
Caller: I don't like asking questions. So I'm at this webpage.
Me: Uh....Okay.
Caller: I'm here at this webpage.
Me: I assume so since you say you are there...
Caller: Well, since you obviously aren't psychic like you should be, I guess I should tell you my problem.
Me: that would be great....
Caller: I just want to know if I'm doing this right.
Me: You probably are. (thinking: AHHHHHHHHHHHH)
Caller: Okay, well then I guess that my question is, will it be in stock?
Me: YES!!!
While working, I find that the Lecturer has office hours in the same building, right then. I go up to his office (I can take a 3 minute break) to give it to him and explain the situation, but he isn't there. Oh right. He's in Italy. Sucks to be him, he has to go to places like Mexico, Hong Kong, and Italy every few weeks. SO I get to wait till after work to make my way through the maze that contains the TA office and slide it under the door.
So now I'm off to Engineering Hall to do other homework. I get everything going and put 3 hours into a masterpiece. I decide that since I haven't eaten and I am starving, that I should get something to eat before going home. I logout, and realize, oh, maybe I should have saved the file to my student account instead of the desktop. So I log back in and....DELETED! Awesome! It sucked anyway, now I get to redo it.
Well, since it needs to be turned in tomorrow, I'm gonna have to stay and do it again. But I really should eat first, before my stomach devours my brain.
While at Subway, I realized that I needed to hurt someone/something. So I beat the crap out of the little optimist inside my head. The employees of Subway seemed pretty amused, and my jealousy of their happiness was converted to rage, due to the lack of having a good side anymore. So I beat the crap out of everyone in there. And then I beat the crap out of everyone I saw on my way back to Engineering Hall.
Once back in Engineering Hall, suddenly everyone and their mother had shown up to work on some other gay projects and there wasn't a single seat left in the place. So I had to trot back to DCL where the other lab was.
So I sat in DCL working on it, and after about 2 hours I was back to where I had left off and Corey sends me a message saying "Hey, apparently we can work together." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Why the crap did I just spend 2 extra hours doing this crap when all I had to do was say "Hey Corey, I do know how to do it, could we just turn in yours?"
Whatever.
Life sucks.
Especially days like this.
Harumph.
What a WONDERFUL day.
Well, it seems that I have not posted in quite some time, so I mayy as well post, despite having nothing of depth to say. But you guys don't care about depth, do you? No, you care about squirrels. Well, too bad, no squirrels either today. HAH!
So, when you live a mile off campus, it sucks to miss the bus. A lot. Especially when you have a test. Even more especially when the test is scheduled to start 5 minutes before the class usually starts.
It sucks when you decide, crap, i missed it. I only have a few minutes to get there, I'd better start running. Then It also sucks when you realize running with a backpack is not as easy as it seemed.
Then it sucks when you get to the building you are to take the test in and see the bus that you could have waited for pull up at the exact time you are about to enter the building, while you walk in out of breath.
But what sucks the worst is when you expected this test to be the easiest thing ever and you figure out that when time is up you have only answered 75% of the questions., no higher than a C, guaranteed.
However, it is all made up for when I get to go to work and make fun of computer illeterate people.
Me: "Can you tell me what the exact problem is?"
Client: "Let me check.
Me: "Do you have two lines, sir?"
Client: "No."
Me: "Okay. Hang up the phone, then connect..."
Oh I love my job.
Well, at 12:05 today, I was sleeping.
But that's not important. What's important is that I aged a whole year during that minute. Yesterday I was a teenager. Today I am old.
On September 21, 1983, my eyes saw light for the first time. I was a 9 pound, blue-eyed, brown-haired baby boy. Then all that changed (except for the boy part). My eyes cleared into a brownish-green color, my hair fell out and grew back red. I was a kinda chubby baby, but then I started to grow without actually gaining weight as my metabolism kicked in, and soon I was pretty underweight, but I was healthy.
I began to speak words like "da-da" and "ma-ma" soon after, and after a while of single words, me and my dad were looking out a window at the neighbor's giant of a dog, named Champ. My dad said, "Look at the horse!" to which I replied, "Champ big dog, no horse." It completely took my dad off guard that I knew more about animals than he did, so he grounded me.
By the time I had turned three I had good control over my memory, and then at 7 I began to pay attention to the world outside my front door, realizing that Galileo and Copernicus were right...The sun is center of the universe (i was a smart kid...okay i didn't know that).
13 was the next big step, the first year of officially being a teenager, seven years that are so painful and happy, so physically challenging, so intospective and emotional. The rush to become free, and the lack of means. The rebellion. The time that the women get HOT HOT HOT, just in time for us guys to start to love it.
Then there's the 18th birthday, where you start to say you are an adult as you are given that freedom you've been after for the past few years, but just say the word: eighTEEN. You're still a teenager, even if you won't admit it at the time.
Then comes twenty. You're all growds up, and you're growds up, and you're growds up. This is it, you are officially not a teenager anymore. You've lost the ability to blame everything on your age, and can no longer claim that people are profiling you for your age. There's nothing left to rebel against, and you finally have to start putting a lot of thought into what you want to do with your life.
Life isn't over though, that's the good thing, it's only about a quarter over. And if you look into the life you have in memory, you can take off three years, so you are actually only 17. And if you look at only the age that you are reasonable, you can take off 7 years, so really you're only 13. And if you really want to get into it, you can subtract all those years that you still weren't quite thinking for yourself, and really you are only 7. So on your Reasonable-Autonomous Age scale, you aren't even a teenager yet!
So i guess 20 isn't all that bad.
But I'm still gonna call myself twentyteen.
Awesome! I have a job! I'm working the CITES Help Desk! I use exclamation points!
other recent developments in the world of O:
-Done a lot of work on my webpage.
-Going to see Underworld tonight. (I thought you needed to know)
-Decided that there are way too many ladybugs in Champaign. The lack of rareity make them much less pretty and much more annoying.
-Found that bands post music on the fark.com sidebar. Good way to find new music.
Speaking of music: I love that bands now are posting flash audio on their webpages now. It is a good quick way to hear what they are like, and they are typically full songs, sometimes full cds.
Which brings me to my next point: downloading music. I am all for it, and wish that the RIAA was seen as practicing monopolistic policies and disintegrate. So i honestly don't care whether they are losing money. However, I do care abot the artists, who I think are being screwed anyway. This is my personal deal: I do NOT download full cds. I dont think anyone should. Buy the cd if you want it that bad. Downloading music should be used like samplers (which are free quite a lot).
The artist is not losing any money by me downloading music. I don't buy cds, I don't have the money. Does that mean I shouldn't be allowed to listen to music? I don't think so. The artist puts it out for all to hear. Of course I could go to a friend's house who bought the cd, but that can be an inconvieniece. Bascally, if it weren't for file sharing, I would not listen to music.
However, due to file sharing, I can listen to music. And I can easily listen to other bands that I read about or a friend reccommends. And if I like it, I go to the concert.
And there it is folks: concerts. A great way for real artists to make money. When i find a new band that i like from downloading their songs, I will in all likelihood go to a concert.
So that's me, and that's my thing.
Oh, I can't go without a squirrel:
I know it's an oldie, but ist a goodie.
(I used web standard compliant code this time. yay for me)
Ugh. Sickness is not a fun time. Not one bit.
When I was in grade school, I remember for a while sometimes hoping that I'd be sick, to miss school, maybe get some things done. It didn't take too long for me to realize how stupid that wish was...When I was sick, I'd sleep all day. Then I feel like crap and can't concentrate on getting anything done.
And then came college, where classes are practically optional, I get to sleep later anyway, and I have to do homework all the time. Actually, last year was good. Due to all the skipping of classes I did, I got plenty of rest and didn't get horribly sick at all. At least not enough to give me a legitimate reason to miss class...
Well, yesterday it finally happened. I got sick, and I am now remembering how crappy it is to be sick. It sucks even worse now than it did in high school! Especially when your professors all want homework turned in the first half of the week (tuesday is pretty popular). I think they all must have heard that students hate having work due at the end of the week because everyone does that, so all of them switched to the beginning of the week. It still sucks!
I hate how hard it is for me to concentrate when you can't stop sneezing for 5 minutes, and then when you finally do stop, your nose just uncontrollably runs for the next half hour. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Argh! Stupid virii! Stupid unfriendly bacterium! Argh! (talk like a pirate day in 3 days)
Another thing: when I lived with my mom, the nurse, I was never sick for more than a day. I'm still sick today. I needs me vitamin c.
At least I'm not as sick as that squirrel, who by the way, has learned a lesson and has taken to drinking non-alcoholic drinks (at least for now):
Anyway, if you need me, I'll be clearing my sinuses over a cup of Maruchan Instant Lunch.
So today I went to the Engineering Expo. The Engineering Expo is this big fat intership fair that the University of Illinois College of Engineering sponsers. Basically a bunch of companies that are thirsty for engineers come to U of I to bait a bunch of college students into their companies so that they can drink their blood. Dang Vampires. I mean, wait, I dunno what the heck I was talking about there. They come to U of I to hire people.
I'm not much of a talker and I dont really know the standard procedure for going up to a company and getting a job from them. In my mind, it should go like this:
Me: I am a Computer Scientist. Hire me.
Company: Okay. You start tomorrow.
But, due to "competition" and "manners", saying what I said their would probably do nothing but make sure that I would never work there ever. In reality I took this approach:
Me: Hi, I'm Mike O'Malley, a Sophmore in Computer Science. I was wondering what kinds of summer internships you have available.
Lucent: Okay, we do blah blah blah. Give me you resume. (i give it) We don't take resume's, so you have to go online to submit it, so I just wasted your time and the paper you printed this resume on.
-or-
nVidia(a la fat man w/ cigar): We hate sophmores. Now get ata here kid, yer buggin me.
-or-
Microsoft: That's great. Now write me a program on paper that does this thing that requires functions that you would have never learned in class ever, to prove that you are a CS student!
Actually the Microsoft thing wasn't too bad. In fact, it's the only place I went that it looks like I have any chance with. It really was a program that required stuff that I have no idea how I would have known had I not taught it to myself, and one function was just an assumption based on another function (but amazingly he said that it was real. I guess I'm just awesome like that). So when I brought it to him, he said that it was great and that I caught every error that he thought he might catch me on. Then he gave me a rubiks cube. So it sounds pretty good.
So all in all, it ended up being a pretty good day, except that I once again missed Physics this morning. But I have high hopes.
Anyway, the squirrel is back, and he's a puker:
How much spew could a squirrel upchuck if a squirrel could upchuck spew?
Good day to ya's.