Conrad Blog:

The Distance We Keep

So...

Shoot I always start these things with "so." Scratch that. Let's start again.

Why do we stay so far away from people?

Ahh... much better. Open, honest, maybe a little whiny, but hey, I'm not Bono here, cut me some slack.

Why do we stay so far away from people? The last few days (which really means a month or two), I have been trying to keep count of how many times i come into actual physical contact with someone else. Its just funny (read: sad) to think how loving and hateful each person you see in a day has the capability to be, and then to note how indifferent they are most of the time. I think it was kierkegaard who said that love and hate were not opposites - they are very close together at the top of a circle, with indifference being at the exact bottom. I've had days where I'd rather be punched than ignored. One more tally on my list for that day.

I've got friends that I'm better friends with on the internet than in real life. We keep it that way because we can be more open that way, and that gives us a good relationship in some respects. But we keep that distance because we're probably afraid to be friends on a more substantial level.

That's not really doing it for me. Hrm I had better expound on that for a little while longer.

We're good friends. If we weren't, we wouldn't talk about the things that we talk about. And we like each other. We come into contact occasionally in real life. But we didn't hang out when we had the chance. We don't hang out currently. We enjoy our separation. We find it to be useful, knowing we can't hurt each other badly, and not being able to love much either is a small price to pay for that... So we it would seem.
Anyway, I'm pretty sensitive to this sort of thing right now. But nevertheless, i still think its sad that I haven't touched a single person's skin today.