Conrad Blog:

not to be anal, but i have to say this since i've done the same thing.

when you write of genius, especially of yourself or someone calling you that, it's always funny when you don't spell it correctly.

but, to connect your thoughts, i'm going to go out on a limb and say if you are a genius, then of course you're lonely. other people are the lucky ones, genius tortures the person with it. the "still" lonely seems to say you didn't expect that. they may as well have called you lonely.

not to be anal, but i have to say this since i've done the same thing.

when you write of genius, especially of yourself or someone calling you that, it's always funny when you don't spell it correctly.

but, to connect your thoughts, i'm going to go out on a limb and say if you are a genius, then of course you're lonely. other people are the lucky ones, genius tortures the person with it. the "still" lonely seems to say you didn't expect that. they may as well have called you lonely.

ah, computer skills! i'm no computer genius

hey remember how you said when you go crazy it will be simply taking everything to the logical conclusion? g.k. chesterton said that too. everything is perfectly logically coherent in your mind, but its just in a very small circle that goes around and around and around...

i just turned in a paper about tolstoy's theology and aesthetics and i used this quote as the intro:
“The truth is that Tolstoy, with his immense genius, with his colossal faith, with his vast fearlessness and vast knowledge of life, is deficient in one faculty, and one faculty only. He is not a mystic, and therefore he has a tendency to go mad.”

the quote is by chesterton too. is what i meant.

i LOVE GK Chesterton :). he was a great great thinker...

Skaught... Note I never called myself a genius... hahaha. Maybe my fingers just like hitting that "ious" because its just such a darn useful key combination. I have no pretentions though... I only wish I could justify my deficiencies by saying they are the natural byproduct of genius. I DO feel tortured. I do feel unlucky. I do not feel like a genius. I feel like I have all the drawbacks without all the benefits and to make it worse some people (good-naturedly, of course) try to cheer me up by disagreeing.

Editor's Note: I am fairly exhausted and down right now, and I have no good reason for either. Everything I say is surely a lie.

The post is simple. I am lonely. I was momentarily cheered up. I ended up still being lonely.

Oh Kate I love you. I am glad to hear that G.K. Chesterton agreed with me. Even if he did think it up before I was even concieved. Why don't you ever post on your own blog these days?? I'm much more interested in your life than my own, it seems.

In retrospect, I can't believe that this blog entry has this many comments, let alone one. Its probably the most self-indulgent thing i've put up here. End public appology.

P.S. I just listened to Nick Drake's "Five Leaves Left" album which is probably nt cheering me up at all. Which is fine with me. The song "Way To Blue" is reallllly neat. Its got a really different (more baroque-ish) flavor to the string writing on it than most pop/rock/whatever tracks. That's my cool thing for the day. Ok I am done now. Nothing else is cool. Today.

Matt,

I don't think you should have to apologize for feeling lonely. Emotions are ingrained in us. They are natural, God gave them to us, feel what you feel and don't apologize. That pisses me off.

And you have every right to be lonely. You have more excuse than most. Kristin is in France, you haven't talked to her in a couple weeks, it's hard. That's that.

I don't want to hear any more of this bullshit about you feeling bad for telling us that you are lonely. You're human. If your friends wanted an apology for your emotions, than you shouldn't even consider us friends...

That's my rant. Feel lonely. Feel ANYTHING.

--k

P.S. This is pretty strange for someone who says she isn't a "feeling" oriented person, huh?

i updated for you, matt.