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December 1, 2006

Fickle me.

So it's probably about time for another blog. I haven't had much to say, I guess. That's pathetic. I still haven't gotten pictures off my camera from as far back as the honeymoon that kristin and I took - i have about 200 megs of free space on my laptop. I need a raided NAS unit, i'm thinking about building one and running linux on it. But i haven't gotten around to figuring out the specifics like and ordering the parts yet. ::sigh::

I guess I'm feeling a little depressed right now. Can't pinpoint a reason, which usually means it will be here a while. I'm having some misgivings about my music and I'm a bit lonely. Nobody calls my phone except to reach kristin when hers is off. And it got cold today. I'm so fickle. Lower the temperature and i just plummet.

So the landlords are working on the wooden breezeways at our apartment, so kristin and I are staying at a pretty nice holiday inn that the landlords are paying for. Whatever. It makes us feel like we're supposed to be on vacation or something. But we're not. oh well, we'll prolly try to do something fun anyway.

peace out!

Posted by pedalboy at December 1, 2006 5:01 PM | TrackBack
Comments

maybe you have SAD. i think i do.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder

Posted by: jennei at December 1, 2006 10:11 PM

haha i don't know how to spell my name

Posted by: jennie at December 2, 2006 11:22 AM

I've got a bit of SAD going too, its the winter blues. I think thats why Christmas (the religious part) was moved from its original warmer date to winter. It peppers the bleak winter landscape with warm snuggly feelings. . . or when business commercializes it and adds shopping maddness it makes you want to strangle all the idiots at victoria's secret buying slutty santa outfits! Who the hell spends $100 on a santa outfit that is barely big enough to cover your bits!

Sorry.

Posted by: dave at December 4, 2006 8:11 PM

Sorry to hear you're feeling bummed out Matt. I get that way from time to time, although for me it doesn't seem to be a seasonal thing.

On a totally different subject, I want to know what Dave has against sexy Santa.

Posted by: Dan at December 5, 2006 2:42 PM

yeah, what's wrong with slutty santa? I personally think that slutty santas pepper the bleak landscape of winter pretty darn well.

Yeah, I looked into the SAD thing a while ago. Some sort of depression seems to have been running in my family for a few generations, so I would not be terribly surprised, but on the flip side, I also wouldn't be terribly surprised if it were not limited to just seasonal stuff. Dangit I need to be more regular in posting blogs!

Posted by: matt at December 5, 2006 5:52 PM

I definitely understand the depression; I"m going through a rather nasty bout myself. Of course, with my ADD I can be prone to that anyway.

I also think that we artist/musician types are more prone to depression as well, though. This is a generalization, but I believe that we are sometimes more in tune with our emotions, and we tend to feel them more deeply! Therefore, when we're happy, we're really happy, and when we're sad, we're really sad! I even wonder if creative people are more susceptible to the chemical imbalances that cause many types of depression!

Of course, when we're depressed, it's easy to rationalize things, to blame ourselves, to think that maybe we're weak, to think that we just need to "buck up," etc. We worry about the stigma attached to it, we think that if we admit that we're depressed, people will think we have mental problems or that we are inadequate. We're afraid to seek help, because it's hard to admit we have a problem. And yet, often depression can be boiled down to brain chemistry, and a simple pill can make it better!

I'm just saying this because it took me many years to admit that I might have a problem and that I might need someone elses help. What I've learned, though, is that I can't just shrug off depression. When it hits me, I need to get help. I can't just try to get through it myself or hope it goes away. I didn't really figure this out until I was almost 40, but better late than never, I guess!

Posted by: Michael Johnson at December 6, 2006 2:22 AM

hey man. email me your digits. i'd love to hear what you're up to, how nashville's treating you and kristin, how holiday inn's free shampoo is... you know, that kind of stuff.

oh, and email me your mailing address again. I've got a present for you guys.

Posted by: Joel at December 6, 2006 9:20 AM

Doc J reads my blog! Must've found it through facebook, eh? Cool!

Actually the fact that I'm depressed doesn't depress me. I'm okay with being depressed, to a certain threshhold, for a certain period of time. Its when it is particularly long and/or bad that I really get bummed. As long as I know the sun is coming out sooner or later, things are a bit more manageable for me. In fact I usually just channel it into a song, or sometimes, a whole album. Its good for me and its good for my music. Unfortunately, its miserable for pretty much everyone else I'm around. Hehe.... Ah well, off to sing bgv's in a closet...

Posted by: matt at December 6, 2006 6:09 PM
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