School Kills
October 19, 2004 - 2:37 PM - # - Influenced by the writings of D.F. Petrella

"I love all you guys. I love you like brothers. The brothers I never had. And I'm very sorry, but I'm still going to burn your house down."

I opened up the first jug of gasoline and started emptying it onto the furniture. The second one was poured in a circle around the chairs huddled together in the center of the room. Being careful not to slip, I grabbed the third jug and took it to the center where I started soaking the guys' ropes. Most of them had stopped trying to talk to me through the socks. I poured a little extra onto the empty chair with a set of teeth sitting on it. Tom had passed out, and Steve was still trying to wriggle out of the Boy Scout knots. He of all people should know that they hold.

I started on the top floor, and let time slow down. The clear liquid splashed off of the bar. The carpet started making a squishing sound as I walked. Through my congestion, I was finally starting to smell it.

God this place was huge. It's a good thing I came overprepared.
"The first principle of the Syndicate is to be overprepared," I thought to myself and chuckled a little bit, thinking back on old times.
I plugged the sinks in both kitchens and committed a jug to each one. I grabbed some Oreo cookies and stuck them in my pocket. Then I did a final sweep of the top two floors. I threw the last four unopened jugs in the washer and dryer in the basement. I always wanted to blow up a washer and dryer. And it would probably make a nice BOOM that I could hear outside.

I ran my tongue across my new teeth. It reminded me of when I got my braces off. I pulled a cookie out of my pocket and took a bite.
"Well, they pass the first test," I said to myself, with my mouth full. I finished chewing and shouted into the house "I sure hope the trans-fat in these Oreos doesn't kill me!"